What’s Killing Black Love?

*Note: I speak from an American perspective. I don’t know if this holds true for black people in other countries. Also, no offense to my LGBT community, but I’m focusing on heterosexual black love here.

A lovely couple dear to my heart getting engaged!

It’s not interracial relationships.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of 2014, 87% of black men marry black women and 94% of black women marry black men.

It’s not the lack of men.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, as of 2010, 48.8% of black men are “never married” compared to 45.2% of black women. (Side note: these figures are so high because it includes black men and women aged 15 and over. Don’t know about you, but I definitely never planned to get married by 15.)

In 2014, there were 364,000 more married black men than married black women. Not a great disparity. We end up single at pretty much the same rate.

It’s not violence.

According to demos.org, “Black-on-Black homicides have decreased by 67% in 20 years, a sharper rate of decrease than white on white homicide.” That’s due to black community leaders who saw the problem and worked on it. (So y’all “what about black on black crime” purveyors can kiss it.) More black men are in college than in jail, states the American Council on Education.

It’s us.


And by us I mean hate. It’s simple, really, in the sense that the opposite of love is hate.

We hate each other.

Or is the opposite of love hate? I believe love’s true opposite is indifference. There’s a reason why the saying goes, “There’s a thin line between love and hate.”

Hate requires some love. If love was truly absent, one wouldn’t care. One would be indifferent.

Anger requires SO much energy. You wouldn’t waste it on someone you didn’t love or care about.

That’s why I think there’s hope for us. After all these great obstacles that force us apart, that force us to hate each other, we still love each other. Because we hate each other.

How did we get here?

This is the most important question to answer. Here’s the criticism I often see from black men and women:

Black men are no good cheaters who stay in and out of jail.They don’t go to college, raise their children, or pay child support. They don’t have jobs to support their families. They can’t be faithful. Black men are a bunch of Peter Pan ass niggas who refuse to grow up, only good for their dicks. Niggas ain’t shit.

Black women always talking about they don’t need no man. They got too much damn attitude and wear too much weave. They’re fat, ghetto, and got too many damn kids. They think they’re better than us. All they want from us is money and to nag us to death. So damn independent, huh? That’s why they end up single and lonely anyways. Bitches ain’t shit.


Here’s what I interpret:

Women: I need you, but I’m afraid to say it.

Men: I don’t think you need me and it hurts because I need you.

I could reach back to slavery and explain how a man couldn’t be a man if…

ATTN: “the next train’s coming” has moved!

Finish reading this article at thenexttrainscoming.com.








12 thoughts on “What’s Killing Black Love?

  1. I’ve had this conversation on several occasions. Great read. Thanks for pointing out statistics. It makes for a better debate. 🙂 Furthermore, I think we need more images of black love plastered in all media outlets. I find myself getting excited and pointing out to anyone who would listen when I see loving black couples in commercials or in a TV series.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that you’re having these types of conversations. I agree with you about the images of black love, but I think it’s more important that they’re actually plastered in our lives. I for one didn’t believe that bogus “black women never get married” stat that came out some years ago because umm all the women in my family are cuffed. What you mean? lol Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pretty good po8&;#s230tI just stumbled upon your page and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your rss and I hope you post again soon….


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