So what she cheated on you with your best friend! Get over it. Yes, she stole all of your money and went to Mexico. So what. Okay, she was your cinnamon apple. And?
No! You can’t flip “niggas ain’t shit” and say “bitches ain’t shit.” (It doesn’t even have the same ring to it, man.)
Y’all are just mad because women are finally starting to beat you all at your own game. Yes, more women than ever are blatantly ain’t shit nowadays, but the scales are still not even.
It’s not something to be proud of. I’m just saying. Shut the hell up. It’s still much easier to find a good woman than it is to find a good man by far. Stop whining.
For one, there’s a huge difference between women saying niggas ain’t shit and men saying bitches ain’t shit.
C’mon. You’ve seen it. When Brittany breaks up with bae, she’ll be all up and down your TL with “in a relationship with myself,” “niggas don’t know a good thing when they got it. Niggas ain’t shit,” and “single and not looking” statuses and IG posts.
Next week, after finding herself a new boo, she’s flooding your TL with “chilling with bae” pics and “so in love” tweets. SHENME?
It’s a juvenile example, but the premise applies to women of all ages, education levels, and backgrounds: We don’t really mean that shit.
I’ll say niggas ain’t shit today, but tomorrow I’ll go out and run into the love of my life and it’ll all fly out the window.
If I were a love-scorned guy who sincerely believed in “bitches ain’t shit” and ran into the love of my life tomorrow, I’d play mind games with her. I’d make her jump through hoops to earn my trust even though she didn’t do anything to not deserve it. Ironically, I might even cheat on her.
I’m exaggerating somewhat, but y’all do take it seriously.
I appreciate the men who’ve outgrown this childish way of thinking, but a lot of men still carry this immaturity into adulthood.
There are more differences still between women and men when it comes to relationships. I may lean more towards the feeling that women are more warranted to be bitter in the dating world, but the truth is pain is pain. There’s no point in comparing someone’s pain over another.
But understanding some of these key differences can help you understand why women are so inclined to be bitter and cry out, “Niggas ain’t shit!”
Again, that’s our shit. Y’all can’t use “bitches ain’t shit” or any of its variants: “All females are hoes,” “It’s hard to find a good woman with all these hoes,” and the ever-popular “Fuck bitches. Get money.”
I mean in reality, you’re going to do whatever you want still. Just read.
Women: Multiple heart-breaks. Men: Just one.
You may have heard this before. After one heartbreak, a man becomes an iceberg and just wants to be a player-hoe, unleashing his vengeance on all the women who come after the Tori who broke up with him for the captain of the football team.
Meanwhile, Sasha over here has been getting cheated on since the 8th grade. Sasha’s 34 now. 34.
I kid, but it’s true. When it comes to heartbreak in general, many women will get their heart broken several times before they even consider going the man-eater route, but they still wouldn’t dare cheat on someone they’re madly in love with. (Usually.)
All it takes is one heartbreak for men to bring out the “trust issues” excuses and play women left and right.
And I don’t want to hear that women are stronger emotionally. Blah blah. That shit hurts. Whether it’s your first heartbreak or your fifth, it hurts, and if we’re strong enough to resist becoming players and to learn to believe in love again, so can y’all.
Women: Takes 2 years to get over that ex. Men: Takes 27 years to get over that ex and still hits her up from time to time when they’re married.
You know what I’m talking about when I say that ex. The one who got away. The love of your life!
I mean, do y’all ever get over her? Lmao.
On a serious note, men tend to bring their baggage from previous relationships into new ones more often than not. Consequently, this makes the relationship unstable and your girlfriend insecure.
It’s okay to be single and wait until you’re over your ex ya know. Just saying. No one likes to play ex games.
Women: Can’t handle rejection. Men: Can handle rejection.
My relationship coach, (the author of one of my favorite blogs, blackgirlsareeasy.com), sums this one up pretty well:
“I don’t think you all realize how much it hurts these women when you reject them after sex. It’s one thing not to call her after getting a number, she can deal with that. It’s one thing to not call her after a first or even second date, she can deal with that. However, to lay down with you and let you inside her (probably raw) was her being all the way vulnerable in sharing something she’s probably only shared less than ten times. To have her personality she showed you not be good enough and her vagina not be good enough, that’s a blow to her ego and self-esteem that she won’t truly get over. Contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of women aren’t sluts or freaks; they don’t have sex just to have sex because you’re cute. These women, even the ones who let you hit quick, are doing so because they see something in you. Sometimes it doesn’t take a man being manipulative to get sex, it usually only takes a man being himself.”
Women: Curves you when they’re not interested. (Rejects you). Men: Will have sex with you and do a whole bunch of other relationship-like things with you, but won’t ever tell you they’re not interested because they’d rather cut off their arm than to say straight-up, “I don’t want your ass for real.”
I think this one’s self-explanatory. Being lead on isn’t fun.
Women: Emotional. Men: Represses emotions. What are feelings?
This one isn’t entirely y’all’s fault. Society programs men to be macho and hard. I get it.
Still, it ain’t healthy.
Men carry this lack of expression into their love lives. They’ll feel, but they won’t listen to their hearts.
Men, you don’t know how truly frustrating it is to be in a relationship with someone who fights his feelings for you. Cut that shit out!
If you love that bitch, you love that bitch! If you think she’s super dope and you think about her all time, cuff her!
Oftentimes, you guys trust logic instead. Yeah, I really like her, but I’m not going to cuff her though. You know hoes out here are ruthless.
I actually really love this girl, but I’m not going to tell her. That’d mean being vulnerable and I don’t do that vulnerable shit.
Luckily, most men grow out of associating expressing their emotions with weakness.
Women: We adjust our egos for men. Men: My ego is big and it needs to grow!!! I’d rather die than swallow my pride!
Lordt. I don’t know what y’all wouldn’t do to protect your pride. Admittedly, I just don’t get it.
You’ll let the love of your life walk down the aisle with someone else before your ego admits that you screwed up. You’ll let her get away.
Why? I don’t know and I don’t care to know. I’m just going to say this. It’s okay to swallow your pride sometimes. If you’d rather be old and alone, by all means, continue to put your ego above all.
I think women more readily realize that real love is a treasure and hard to come by. We’ll do anything to hold on to the relationships in our lives.
Men don’t feel this same need to sacrifice. Maybe we need to follow their example.
Women: Hoe. Men: Hoe.
I’m not going to go into a lengthy discussion about double standards here. That’s a whole other post.
We all know that if a woman hoes around, she’s a hoe, but if a man does it, he’s just a man. Both women and men shame female hoes, but only women tend to shame male hoes.
This factors into “niggas ain’t shit” because it’s seen as a rite of passage for men to sleep around. Some men even encourage men in relationships and marriages to cheat!
But if Ashley decides to be a slut after being played too many times by these men “just being men,” she’s ostracized and no longer deemed “wifey material.” Are you even hubby material, nigga?
I wouldn’t ever encourage any girl to sleep around, but if that’s her prerogative, she’s a grown ass woman who’s capable of making her own decisions.
How about we just both not be hoes? Kay. (Haha, yeah right.)
Niggas Ain’t Shit
This article was not written to prove that some niggas ain’t shit. That’s a given. It wasn’t written to prove that some bitches ain’t shit, either. That’s also a given.
It was written so maybe you can understand the women who cry out “niggas ain’t shit” a little better. Before you jump to proclaim that all women are hoes and disloyal, take a look at yourself (and the niggas surrounding you) to make sure you’re not giving certain women reasons to say “niggas ain’t shit.”
In the end, when it comes to dating, whether you’re a man or a woman, you’re going to get fucked over. That’s life! Continue to be real anyways.
You just gotta find someone you can trust.
*I don’t believe that women are bitches or that men are niggas. I’m just repeating what we usually say verbatim. No matter your beef with the word “bitch” or “nigga,” it’s still used in daily conversation to refer to women and men.
Comment below if you want a response post on “Why Bitches Ain’t Shit.”